Gita 12.18

Sadhak: "Being equal to enemy and friend - doesn't that mean I shouldn't protect myself from enemies?"

Guru: "Equal doesn't mean treating identically. A doctor treats all patients equally but prescribes different medicine. Being sama toward enemy means your inner state isn't disturbed by enmity. You may defend yourself, set boundaries, even fight if necessary - but without hatred poisoning your heart."

Sadhak: "Not caring about honor or dishonor seems impossible in social life."

Guru: "The devotee cares about doing right, not about reputation. Honor and dishonor often reflect others' misunderstanding more than reality. When your worth comes from within - from connection to the Divine - external opinions lose their power to disturb. You're free to act rightly regardless of praise or blame."

Sadhak: "Cold and heat, pleasure and pain - these are physical. How can I be equal when my body responds automatically?"

Guru: "The body responds; the witness doesn't identify. Cold registers, but 'I am suffering from cold' isn't added. Pain signals arise, but 'poor me' isn't created. The equality is in the space of awareness, not in the sensations themselves. You feel without becoming the feeling."

Sadhak: "What's the connection between being saṅga-vivarjita (free from attachment) and equanimity?"

Guru: "Attachment is the root. We're attached to friends (so we fear losing them), attached to reputation (so dishonor hurts), attached to comfort (so discomfort disturbs). Cut the root of attachment, and the branches - the various preferences and aversions - naturally wither. Equanimity is the fruit of non-attachment."