Gita 13.10
Kshetra Kshetragna Vibhaga Yoga
असक्तिरनभिष्वङ्गः पुत्रदारगृहादिषु | नित्यं च समचित्तत्वमिष्टानिष्टोपपत्तिषु ||१०||
asaktir anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ putra-dāra-gṛhādiṣu | nityaṁ ca sama-cittatvam iṣṭāniṣṭopapattiṣu ||10||
In essence: Non-attachment to family, home, and possessions, combined with unwavering equanimity when pleasant and unpleasant events occur—this balanced state is knowledge.
A conversation between a seeker and guide to help you feel this verse deeply
Sadhak-Guru Dialogue
Sadhak: "Guru ji, doesn't non-attachment to family seem cold? Shouldn't we love our children and spouse?"
Guru: "Absolutely love them! But examine your love: Is it truly for THEM, or is it for what they give YOU—security, identity, meaning? Pure love says 'I want you to flourish, whether or not you make me happy.' Attached love says 'I need you to be a certain way so I can feel okay.'"
Sadhak: "That's a challenging distinction."
Guru: "It is. Notice when worry about your child is really worry about yourself. 'What will people think if my child fails?' 'Who will take care of me?' These are attachment-based thoughts masquerading as love."
Sadhak: "What about equanimity? If something bad happens, shouldn't I be upset?"
Guru: "You can acknowledge events as undesirable without losing your center. The sage feels the wave but is anchored to the ocean floor. Ordinary people ARE the wave—tossed completely by circumstances. Which position allows better response?"
Sadhak: "I suppose being anchored allows clearer action."
Guru: "Exactly. Equanimity isn't indifference; it's the stable ground from which effective action can arise. The emergency room doctor must maintain equanimity to help patients effectively. Falling apart helps no one."
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🌅 Daily Practice
Reflect: 'Today I will love my family freely, wanting their good, not needing them to be a certain way for my happiness.'
When something undesirable happens, pause before reacting. Breathe. Ask: 'How would I respond if I were already at peace?' Then respond from that place.
Review equanimity: 'When did I lose balance today? What triggered it? What thought or belief made me reactive?' Understanding the pattern helps next time.