Pingala the Courtesan - Dispassion

Krishna: "(his voice taking on a contemplative quality) Perhaps the most surprising guru of the avadhuta was a courtesan named Pingala. Her story illuminates how wisdom can dawn in the most unexpected circumstances."

Uddhava: "A courtesan? Teaching spiritual truth?"

Krishna: "Listen without judgment, Uddhava. Pingala was beautiful and lived by entertaining wealthy men. Each night, she would stand at her door, adorned in finery, watching the street. Perhaps this one will come, she would think. He looks wealthy. He will bring gifts and make me happy."

Uddhava: "This sounds like ordinary desire."

Krishna: "It was. Night after night, she waited for the perfect patron. Some came, some didn't. When they came, she felt momentary pleasure. When they didn't, she felt despair. Her happiness was entirely dependent on external circumstances."

Uddhava: "As most human happiness is."

Krishna: "Exactly. Then one night, something shifted. She had waited for hours. Wealthy merchants passed by without stopping. She felt the familiar disappointment rising. But this time, she observed it. She saw herself clutching for happiness that never satisfied."

(Krishna continues)

Krishna: "In that moment of clarity, she said to herself: What a fool I have been! I have looked for happiness in those who themselves are searching for happiness. I have sought security in the insecure. I have begged for love from those who don't know what love is."

Uddhava: "She saw through the illusion."

Krishna: "Completely. She continued her reflection: The soul within me is the real beloved. That eternal companion has always been present, waiting for me to turn within. While I waited at the door for visitors, the true Guest was waiting inside for me to come home."

Uddhava: "What happened to her?"

Krishna: "She closed her door, removed her ornaments, and sat in meditation. For the first time in her life, she felt genuine peace — not the flickering pleasure of satisfied desire, but the steady flame of inner contentment. She realized that all her waiting had been for the wrong thing."

Uddhava: "Did she renounce her profession?"

Krishna: "The text says she found dispassion — vairagya. Whether she continued serving customers or not became irrelevant. The inner attachment was broken. She could engage with the world without needing anything from it. Her service, if she continued, became an offering rather than a transaction."

Uddhava: "So the teaching is about the moment of seeing through?"

Krishna: "Precisely. Pingala's awakening came not from success but from failure. The disappointment she dreaded became her liberation. Had the perfect patron arrived that night, she would have remained bound. The absence created the opening."

Uddhava: "Then our disappointments can be teachers?"

Krishna: "Our greatest teachers, often. When what we desperately wanted doesn't come, we have a choice: sink into bitterness, or question the wanting itself. Pingala chose to question. In that questioning, she found the Self that needs nothing because it is everything."

Uddhava: "(sitting with this) A courtesan teaches detachment. The world is full of unexpected gurus."

Krishna: "Full of them. The avadhuta who learned from her did not judge her profession. He saw only the teaching: hope deferred can become wisdom dawned. Turn disappointment into inquiry, and you find the eternal."

(Krishna's eyes hold both compassion and recognition — for all beings standing at their own doors, waiting for what will never satisfy.)