Special Instruction

Ashtavakra noticed a subtle pride in Janaka's demeanor and addressed it directly.

"You feel you are progressing, O King. This is the subtlest trap."

Janaka looked surprised. "But I have understood your teachings. I rest in awareness. Is this not progress?"

"Who is it that progresses? Who measures the distance traveled? The one who evaluates spiritual growth is the very ego you are trying to dissolve. It has simply put on a spiritual costume."

"Then what should I do?"

"See through the one who asks 'What should I do?' This questioner is the problem, not the solution. He will endlessly ask questions to maintain his existence. As long as you believe in him, you are bound."

"But without this sense of self, how would I function?"

"Function continues without a sense of self. Observe closely—does thought require a thinker? Does action require an actor? These processes happen spontaneously. The sense of 'I am doing this' is added afterward, like a commentator claiming to direct the game he merely observes."

"This is difficult to accept," Janaka admitted.

"Of course. The ego fights for survival. It will use every strategy—including spiritual seeking—to perpetuate itself. The seeker who feels advanced is no closer to truth than the beginner. Both are identified with a false center."

"Is there any practice that can help?"

"The practice is to see through practice. Each time you catch yourself feeling spiritually advanced, recognize this as ego. Each time you feel you are making progress, see the one who measures progress. This seeing is not another practice—it is the dissolution of the practitioner."

"And what of humility? Should I cultivate humility?"

"Cultivated humility is pride wearing humble clothes. True humility is not an achievement—it is the absence of anyone claiming achievements. When the ego dissolves, humility is natural, because there is no one left to be proud or humble."

"I feel I understand less than I did when we started."

"Excellent. This is true progress—though we must be careful even with that concept. The mind that thinks it understands has only added more content. The mind that recognizes its own emptiness is closer to truth."

"What is the final instruction?"

"Stop seeking instruction. Every teaching, including this one, reinforces the seeker. The truth cannot be taught because it is not information. It is what remains when all information is forgotten. Be empty of spiritual knowledge, and you become what all the teachings point to."

"But then what was the purpose of all our conversations?"

"They were medicine for a disease that was never real. You came believing you were bound; the teaching showed you that bondage is imagination. Now, throw away the medicine. The illness was imaginary; the cure was imaginary. Only the Self remains."

"And if I fall back into identification? If the ego returns?"

"It will return. Let it. Watch it without judgment. The very watching dissolves it. You are not trying to destroy the ego—that would be war. You are simply seeing that it was never substantial. It is a ghost that disappears in the light of awareness."

Janaka sat in silence, feeling the weight of spiritual ambition lift from his shoulders.

"I release my progress," he said finally. "I release my understanding. I release even my liberation."

"Now you are free. Not because you have released anything, but because you see there was nothing to release and no one to release it. This is the special instruction that cannot be spoken. You have received it."