Rama's Despair - Why Live?

Rama: "O Gurudev, I have seen the world. I have walked through prosperous cities and desolate villages. I have observed kings on their thrones and beggars in the dust. And everywhere—everywhere—I see the same thing: people chasing shadows."

Vasishtha: "Tell me, Rama, what shadows have you seen?"

Rama: "I watched a wealthy merchant count his gold with trembling hands, terrified of thieves. I saw a beautiful queen weep because her beauty was fading. I observed scholars argue bitterly over interpretations of texts, their peace destroyed by words meant to bring peace. What is the point, Gurudev? What is the point of any of it?"

Vasishtha: "You ask a question that most people spend their entire lives avoiding."

Rama: "They build palaces that will crumble. They accumulate wealth that will pass to others. They seek pleasures that turn to ash in the mouth. Even my own body—this strong young body—is already dying, moment by moment. Every breath brings me closer to the grave. Why should I eat? Why should I practice archery? Why should I prepare to rule a kingdom that will one day be dust?"

Vasishtha: "(remaining silent, watching Rama with deep attention)"

Rama: "I look at my father, the great King Dasharatha, and I see a man imprisoned by his crown. I look at the courtiers and see performers in an endless play, exhausting themselves for applause that means nothing. I look at myself and see... what? A prince? What is a prince but a future corpse wearing silk?"

Vasishtha: "Rama, do you wish to die?"

Rama: "No, Gurudev. That is what troubles me most. I do not wish to die, yet I cannot find a reason to live. Death offers no escape, for who knows what follows? Another birth? Another round of this meaningless struggle? I am trapped—trapped between a life that seems pointless and a death that solves nothing."

Vasishtha: "(nodding slowly) What you describe, young prince, is not illness. It is awakening."

Rama: "Awakening? This feels like drowning."

Vasishtha: "Because you have opened your eyes underwater. Most people keep their eyes closed and swim through life never seeing the ocean they are in. You have seen it. You have seen the impermanence of all things, the futility of grasping, the endless wheel of desire and disappointment. This seeing is called vairagya—dispassion. And it is the first step toward true freedom."

Rama: "Freedom? I feel only chains."

Vasishtha: "You feel the chains because you have stopped pretending they are ornaments. Listen to me, Rama. Your despair is precious. It is more valuable than all the gold in your father's treasury. Do you know why?"

Rama: "(looking up, a faint spark of interest in his eyes) Why?"

Vasishtha: "Because a man who is satisfied with shadows will never seek the light. Your dissatisfaction with the world as it appears is the beginning of the search for what is real. The sages call this the qualification for wisdom. Without it, all teaching is wasted—water poured on stone."

Rama: "Then what is real, Gurudev? If wealth is shadow, if pleasure is shadow, if even this body is shadow—what remains?"

Vasishtha: "That, dear Rama, is the question we will explore together. But know this: the answer cannot be given like a mango handed from one person to another. It must be discovered within your own being. I can only show you where to look."

Rama: "I am willing to look anywhere. I cannot continue as I was."

Vasishtha: "Then your journey has truly begun. The world you saw on your pilgrimage—the suffering, the grasping, the inevitable decay—this is not the whole truth. It is the surface of a vast ocean. Beneath it lies something unchanging, something that does not decay, something that you already are but have forgotten. Our work together will be to remember."

Rama: "And this remembering... will it bring peace?"

Vasishtha: "It will bring something beyond peace and turmoil, beyond happiness and sorrow. It will bring you home to your own Self—which was never born and can never die. But first, you must understand the nature of the mind that creates this world of suffering. Are you ready?"

Rama: "(sitting up straighter, color returning to his face) I am ready, Gurudev. For the first time since returning from my journey, I feel something other than despair. I feel... hope? No, not hope. Curiosity. A desire to know."

Vasishtha: "That desire is itself the path. Hold onto nothing else. Let us begin."