Krishna and Draupadi - On Controlling Anger

Draupadi was sharpening arrowheads when Krishna arrived. The scraping sound was the only thing that seemed to quiet the storm in her head these days—the repetitive motion, the transformation of blunt metal into killing edges.

Krishna: "Still preparing for war?"

Krishna asked, sitting nearby.

Draupadi: "Someone has to. My husbands seem content to rot in this forest."

Krishna: "They're honoring their word."

Draupadi: "Their word. They gave their word after Yudhishthira gambled me away like a cow. They gave their word after I was dragged by my hair before the court. After I was stripped. After I—"

She stopped. Even now, she couldn't finish that sentence.

Krishna: "Your anger is justified,"

Krishna said quietly.

Draupadi: "Then why do I have to contain it? Why must I wait thirteen years for justice?"

Krishna: "Who said anything about containing it?"

Draupadi looked up.

Draupadi: "What?"

Krishna: "Your anger is sacred, Draupadi. It is righteous fury against injustice. It is the fire that will fuel the destruction of the Kauravas. I would never ask you to contain it."

Draupadi: "But you're always counseling patience. Dharma. Waiting."

Krishna: "There's a difference between containing anger and directing it. Fire contained in a lamp lights a room. Fire uncontained burns down the house. Your anger is fire. The question is whether you control it or it controls you."

Draupadi: "It controls me, Every night I dream of Dushasana's hand in my hair. Every morning I wake wanting blood."

Krishna: "And if you had attacked the day after the dice game? When the Pandavas had no army, no allies, no preparation?"

Draupadi: "We would have lost."

Krishna: "You would have died. Your anger would have died with you. Duryodhana would have ruled unopposed. Your suffering would have been meaningless."

Draupadi put down the arrowhead.

Draupadi: "So I just wait? And burn?"

Krishna: "You wait, and you prepare. You turn your anger into arrows. You turn it into alliances—Virata, Panchala, the Yadavas. You turn it into training your sons to fight. You turn it into a fire so well-contained that when it finally erupts, nothing will survive it."

Draupadi: "Thirteen years is a long time to burn."

Krishna: "It is. And every day of those thirteen years, Duryodhana will grow more comfortable. More arrogant. More certain that you have been broken. He doesn't know that you're not waiting—you're loading a bow. And when you finally release..."

Draupadi: "His comfort will be his undoing."

Krishna: "Exactly. Here is what I want you to understand, Draupadi. Your anger is not your enemy. Your impatience is. Anger gives you power. Impatience makes you spend that power too soon on targets too small. Duryodhana is not worth a premature attack. He is worth the complete destruction of the Kuru dynasty."

Draupadi felt something shift in her chest. The same rage still burned, but differently now. Not a wildfire but a forge.

Draupadi: "I will wait,"

Krishna: "You will prepare,"

Krishna corrected.

Draupadi: "I will prepare. And when the time comes?"

Krishna: "When the time comes, I will be your charioteer. And you will watch Dushasana's blood stain Bhima's hands. And it will be worth every moment of waiting."

Draupadi picked up another arrowhead and began sharpening. The sound was the same, but her hands were steadier now.

Draupadi: "Thank you."

Krishna: "Thank me after the war. When you're standing in the ashes of Hastinapura."